Smorgasbord

The check I made mention of in prior blog... ya, that happened today.

I won't go into the particulars of said check, but it was well-deserved if I may say so. I'm a hard worker people. No matter what they tell you.

A little background info: I work with a new team who also received big phat checks today.

After work, a celebratory dinner with the team commenced at a cool local upscale whole-in-the-wall restaurant. A total oxymoron but I don't know how else to describe it.

As we are sipping fine wine and devouring flatbread, I notice a bowl of M&M's in the middle of the table. Team member hands me a paper with the rules. Close your eyes, pick an M&M, and answer the question that is written in that M&M's color. This guy loves team-building exercises, as he calls it.

I pick an M&M, open my eyes, and scroll down the paper to my favorite flavor, orange. "What is unique about you?"

Me: "NOTHING! I swear I'm just like everyone else in this world"

Them: "No, no, that's not true. You are unique, you got this."

Um.. I don't need the pity.

Me: <long pause>

Me: "Ummmm.... I can do THIS with my tongue!"

I proceed to stick out my tongue and squeeze the life out of it until a triple wave prevails. Solid.

Them: "Oh WOW, yes that IS unique. I can't even do THAT. That is VERY unique..."

Ok, no need for the dramatic sarcasm team. It's the best I could come up with.

We continue to play the game, ahem team-building exercise, and follow the table around clockwise until it comes right back to me. I pick green. "What adversity have you overcome in your life?"

Thats deeeeep. Here I go.

Me: "Well, my mom kicked my father out for cheating and drugs while pregnant with my little sister, who died 4 years later, and all the while working a minimum wage job and living on food stamps. So, I'd pretty much say that...."

And then, all of a sudden, a dirt/hair particle of some sort decides its JUST the right time to plant itself into my eye which, while telling my sob story, causes me to frantically rub my eye resulting in my eye watering uncontrollably.

Them: "oh, I'm so sorry, that must be really hard for you to talk about, are you ok?.."

Me: "Oh no, I'm fine! No, really. I SWEAR. I just have something in my eye!"

I say it with so much emphasis that it sounds sarcastic and now they REALLY think I'm crying.

At this point, I can't recover so I continue on explaining that the adversity I had was the fact that I grew up without a father in my life. BIG DEAL, it happens all the time, I'm over it. Damn that particle!

This topic leads to a deeper conversation about how much, I wonder, does my family history affect my current relationship being that I didn't have a mother/father marriage to look up to growing up.

And then the relationship/marriage advice ensues:

Coworker #1, 38 yrs old, married for 18 years, 1 kid:
"Look, marriage is ALL about compromise. And don't have more than one kid."

Coworker #2, 55 yrs old, married for 30 yrs, 3 kids:
"I totally disagree, marriage is ALL about giving..."

Coworker #1: "Um.. ya, same thing. When you compromise, you are giving in."

Coworker #2: "No, not giving in, just giving. And you should have 3 kids. You know, there's an old saying about how kids affect you financially. 'The first kid is a dollar, the second is a hundred, and the third is a dollar.' "

Coworker #3, 45 yrs old, married for 15 years, 3 kids:
"You mean GIVING sex. Look, you should GIVE IN to sex 4 times per week. Now, THAT'S compromising."

My eyes widen. Are we really going there?

He continues, "haha, no, listen. The real answer is you have to be vulnerable towards one another. It's the only way."

Teammate #4, 62 yrs old, married for 35 years, 4 goody two-shoe kids:
"I disagree with all of you. The real key to a successful marriage is support. You must support each other no matter what. For example, if your baby is 6 months old and your husband wants to go on a weekend trip with his boys to catch a break, you have to support him in that... and you should have as many kids as you want, 20 even."

Um, that doesn't sound right and now my head hurts.

Up to this point, I wasn't too sure if I learned anything about relationships/marriage tonight.

In this smorgasbord of confusion, I think I found a bit of clarity in the end. Despite their differing views on marriage, they were all still married; no signs of divorce, past, present, or near future. Maybe no relationship is perfect and there is no specific way a relationship should be. Maybe everyone is different. Maybe there's no use in comparing other relationships to yours. What works for them may not work for yours. Yours is unique. Yours is yours.

Amen sista brotha.

Bits-N-Pieces

A few things going on in Auntie Kiki's head tonight:

I'm really trying to get around to watch the season finale of Glee on Hulu on my Macbook (I should get paid for advertising). I'm a mild gleek. 

I can't figure out - if I'm signed in and view my own blog, does that add to my profile views? I must say, I wish I hadn't discovered where to find the "profile view" because now I'm an avid viewer of the profile view. And it's quite depressing. 

I bite my nails. Ewww I know, but I'm typically an anxious person and it's a bad habit I formed long long ago. I recently heard that it takes 28 days to break a habit. Why didn't they just round to 30? Anyway, I'm giving it a shot. Today is day 2. I am on a roll.

Tomorrow a.m., I'm going to be given the biggest check I have ever received at one time. It will probably be the biggest check I get at one time for the rest of my life. So, I'm thinking of ways to cherish the moment. Should I frame it? No, then I can't cash it. Should I celebrate with a bunch of friends? No, cause then I'll end up covering the whole tab and, well, there goes that. How about brag blog about it? Ding ding ding ding!

For my Aunts 50th birthday, my family pitched in to send her to The Biggest Loser Resort in Utah! How cool is that? VERY cool. No, she's not going to be on TV unfortch. But now that she's going, I'm thinking I should go too... No really I should. You work out 7 hours a day, they teach you about nutrition daily, and you only eat 1200 calories a day. Sounds like hell actually, but I aint gettin any skinnier and Mr. Metabolism is riding pretty idle these days. 

I intend to request April 29th, 2011, off of work. It's a shame if you don't already know what magical event is taking place. Hello?! Its like, only the Royal Wedding, duh! I asked a couple girlfriends if they totally wanted to take off work/call in sick and they thought I was nuts. That was really weird. Also really weird is the fact that they are marrying on a Friday, but maybe that's the English way.

Do I really have to wait 2 MORE weeks to see Lady Gaga in concert? If there is anything about me that is childish, it's the little monster inside me. I resisted in the beginning, a lot. But in the end, you can't ignore talent. My boyfriend did me proud for our 3 year anni. Tickets to see Mother Monster. It's going to be epic.

Still Testing My Prescription Medication

Man. When I really put my mind to something, like deciding to start a blog and keep up with it, I really go full throttle.

NOT.

I'm a failure.

It's not like I have a million, or even a hundred.... heck, I don't even have 5 people following me yet, so really I shouldn't be bothered by this failure. But I am... because I don't want to let ME down.

I started this in hopes to gain some sanity, release some of these thoughts in my head, lessen tension, anything. I seriously think WAY too much, to the point of anxiety.

So I prescribed me Blogging.

But in the midst of it, I discovered that I can't really blog about the thoughts and feelings that really go on in my head. Well... I could, but most of it would be so controversial and I would get a lot of people judging or taking... The Other Side.

(Side note: If I call you to vent about something or, in most instances, someone, and I obviously sound really passionate about whatever it is that I'm venting about... do not REASON with me. There is no OTHER side. Take my side or Just Listen. K thanks, love you.)

The solution would probably be to start a completely anonymous blog so I could vent about all the little things and persons that drive me Up The Wall without having to worry about people I KNOW judging me for writing about them exploitively or about other things that really don't matter. Because their judgement just increases my anxiety and then my blogging prescription medication is useless.

But if I didn't know you, I could totally handle your judgements because.. well... I don't know you and thus don't care all too much about what you think about me! And because I have a Queen B*tch alter ego.

My sisters would probably argue its not an alter ego, but we're not here to discuss family issues. That's for my new anonymous blog. Jay kay.

So back to me lacking the skills to blog about important things and, instead, blog about cry-me-a-river issues and Oh woe is me my world is crashing down because <insert pathetically minute situation here>.

You'd think it'd matter to me that a giant Tsunami enveloped Japan.

Um.. wow, that sounds totally insensitive. That DOES matter, but am I going to choose to blog about it?

Ugh, now I'm starting to feel guilty for not blogging about it. But, then again, that would just be too depressing to read because it was such a horrible happening and it's not like I can rescue the Japs or give them billions of dollars to recover.

Is calling the Japanese "Japs" racist? If so, I do not mean it to be. It's just less words to type. Geez, stop judging.

Come to think of it, this blog is pretty depressing so I can't win.

What I meant by the Tsunami comment is when you're sitting at a light that just turned green and the moron in front of you isn't paying any attention and probably playing Words With Friends on his iPhone and you just want to scream profanities and shoot him the bird, you're not thinking "there are starving people in Africa!"

Oh no, this guy just ruined your whole day and gave you a crap load of crap to crap -I mean blog- about.

For the record, I do not shoot the bird. I'm a classy gal.

So, Blog World.. when do you get comfortable blogging about ANYTHING? I certainly do not want to offend any fellow friends or family with my opinions and ever-so-often angry rants, it might happen. But then again, this is supposed to be about ME, not you.

Maybe I should start by googling "blog etiquette".